Saturday, May 23, 2009

good friend arr? think again

i have this very good friend. i hope so. that's what people say when they see us.

when she reads this, im sure she knows that im talking about her.

we were not close since last time. only when f5 is about to end, i started to get close to her. We went to camps, "school" and did almost everything together. in many people's eyes, we are supposed to be good friends. at least my own expectations.

but what grieved me.. or rather just mere disappointment, was the fact that we are not good friends. she might have thought that we are but in reality, we are not!

tell you what happened. in class, i tried my best to motivate her to study, because she's like dying practically in every class. i myself was not doing well, but at the same time, i don't want to see her die in the battle with STPM. therefore, sacrificing my own little time of listening to lectures, i motioned her to be alert and study if she "fishing" on the other side of the classroom.

she just likes to share her romance story and interest with me, which were not really related to me. but when i try to share my own stories or views, i doubt that she listens. and she will try to prove to me that she listened to me by repeating what i said. such hypocrite. maybe i shudn't judge. worse still, sometimes when i try to say something impressive, she will pakat with other frens to ignore me, saying that i was about to tell a lame joke. and this became a cool thing among them. so ouch! but when she says something, everyone is willing to listen.

she already had her group of friends. the 'pig and dog' friends, who do nothing but sleep or talk during class. so hard to get her to sit down with me to have a light conversation. often when i finally got her to sit down with me, she will somehow or rather got attracted by other things. worse still, i will be the subject chosen to be ignored. what kind of friend is this? i tried to advise, but being ignored. nonsense. what to do? she's so popular. everyone loves her. when i offered to pray for her, she will prefer not to do it on the spot, as if im gonna laying hands on her head or shoulder. instead, pray for her later at the time when i will pray.

i was just trying to offer what i have to be a good friend to her, yet 99% are in vain.

maybe i shouldn't expect so much from her.

this kind of friend is soooo difficult to love. but yet im supposed to be accountable to her and vice versa. hard la... should i continue to pray for her, encouraged her and give her the best support? I always counsel people with Luke 6:27,28. ....Pray for those who mistreat you. i really don't know what to do. Should i continue to place her in my heart as a burden to pray for her? so much hurt i got from her. which she thought it was ok for me to bear.

after reading this, i can imagine her reply, saying sorry la.. she didn't intend to la... i think too much la... im too sensitive la... whatever. but im not surprised that she will remain the same, cuz i think she never really take me as a good friend, only taking advantage of me when she needs something, thinking that im her locker or safe. nonsense.

4 comments:

Timothy Lewis said...

ouch. ouch. ouch. ouch. ouch.

That's what i felt when i read this.

Remember what Uncle H always says tho. "The person whom you give highest expectations always gives the biggest dissapointment". So maybe you really shouldn't expect so much from her anymore. Still, forgive and forget.

(You are free to not approve this comment so that it remains PnC)

siehjin said...

hey andrew =)

well, i think you already know what you have to do... from the scripture you quoted as well as from other scriptures. forgive, and persevere in love... i mean agape, not eros ya lol =P

but seriously it isn't easy... yet if we cannot forgive and love those who are our "friends", how then can we forgive and love our enemies? i guess in some ways, this is an opportunity to become more like Christ.

may you rise to the challenge! =)

Anonymous said...

Forgive and not forget.. There is a reason why you should not forget but i cant remember why. Whatever it is,try in every way which Papa wants you to do.

Listen to Him first before doing anything... Might be a very good plan to listen 1st!
After all, He rules! ;)

nana said...

Could it be.. because both of you are of different genders?
I hang out with a lot of good guy friends, and it took me along time to understand them and master the art of tolerance, in fact i'm still trying to comprehend how the brain of the human mind.
One thing's for sure, i do 100% treasure the joyful moments i have with them.
ps: they still piss me off like *beep*