on relying on God totally...

Casting Crowns - Who Am I
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.


Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.


I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.


Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I?
That the voice that calm the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.


Not because of who I am.
But because what of youve done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.


I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.


Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.


I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
You told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cuz I am yours.
I am yours.



This song is one of the much-loved worship song in JS.


Friday morning, as i was on my way to MBS, part of this song kept sounding in my head. I almost shed my tears in the bus but i held it back. Paiseh mar...

Anyway, it reminds me that God really loves me and care for me.

Firstly, the scandal that i had just before SPM. I had to pay back something. It was not totally my fault but the teachers... don't want to mention names... made it as though i was at fault totally. A very good friend of mine suddenly offered to help me. Initially he said i do not have to pay him back. That sounds scary to me. But i still want to pay him back. It's not nice to owe people mar...

After that, i went to MCKL. Just to enquire about the A-level there, though i know very well that i won't be studying there. Met a lot of people on the way and there itself. Classes are over.

Then i went to my father's working place in Bangsar to help out. The shop closed at about 10p.m. He was telling me that he ran short of money. This isn't the first time. I had told him since last time that whenever he has money, save it. Now dai sei (padan muka) lar... Everytime go Genting sure visit that demonic place. And he made me cannot go to MCKL. Maybe prayer conference also...

But i somehow remembered what my sai lou Enoch said and wrote on my NIV Study Bible. God loves you very much. Indeed, i felt that. I know very well that He loves me. The song itself tells me how much of undeserved love and care for me from God.

Lord i trust in You and put You as my goal,
No more downcast o my soul...

nite 'mentoring'

During mission week in Kampar, i self-elected as Taiko a.k.a big brother in my mentoring group. Daniel is Yee Lou/ G kor a.k.a 2nd brother and Enoch Sai Lou a.k.a youngest brother. This 'system' exist because our mentor, Yuen Feung has to 'return' to New Zealand to pursue his Masters in Biotech.

Since then, we called ourselves 'Fatherless'. Though 3 of us were under Kokobert for morning devotion sharing, there's no night mentoring. It happened this way, in Kampar Wesley...

Enoch was sitting alone at the cemented area behind the toilet one night. That place was considered quiet, empty n private. Therefore, i went to him and chatted. Soon, Daniel came as well and we caught up with each others' struggles & started to pour our hearts out like the typical night mentoring.

The second day, i thought it was good to have mentoring at night though Yuen Feung was not around, so i told my plan to 2 of them, and make myself the taiko because i'm the oldest among 3 of us. In fact, i'm the oldest among the year 90' babies in JS. Dan's bday is in March & Enoch's June. That made the sequence of our 'brothership'...

Just now 3 of us met up again online. Really appreciate the hard work of the team who created MSN messenger. 2 brothers of mine is now in the midst of learning to drive. this taiko really 'mou guai yong'[canto:useless (almost)], until now also have not step my foot into a driving school.

I feel very dear to this 2 brothers. They were the ones who were at my side, supporting me, guiding me, caring for me... since the beginning of JS until the end. Even until now, they are still available to open their eyes , concerning me about my struggles... not ears coz they are reading what i type. i really thank God for them. i really thank them as well.

i pray that God will take good care of these two brothers of mine, Dan & Noch.

Dan & Noch, highlight the row below this...

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Taiko philos and agape u 2 very much!

of overcoming evil

today's Lent meditation is "The Lord Reigns!"

Look at the Prayer part...
"grant me grace to stand up to mine (stand up against evil)"

i was thinking, wasn't many church leaders telling us not to purposely kacau or challenge those evil spirits, like going to a temple and say 'i cast u... i cast u...'. But what about this? Didn't Jesus already overcame evil?

So should we or should we not overcome them straight, anytime or anywhere when we sense them?

Or do we wait until the Enemy comes & pounce on us, then only we stand up against them?

What do you say?

The only instance from the Bible i remember is the case of the 7 sons of Sceva in Acts. Seven of them didn't know Jesus but used His name in vain to cast out demons. They had their own selfish motives. As a result, they were wounded and ran away naked.

We are not like them. We know Jesus. We know the power of His name. But why can't we just go to a shrine and cast the evil spirits away and destroy their stringholds?

What do you think?

xiau niu broke da niu's record

do not be shocked.

highlight between A & !

ADDISON GOT 50/50

FOR UNDANG-UNDANG!!!

Praise God once more!!!

Jesus' Legacy

Today's Lent meditation reading is on Jesus' Legacy.

Points of interest that i found out are

1. Jesus did not tun back against His betrayer (1st sentence).
This reminds me of the verses Luke 6:27-28, my favourite verses.
Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.
Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you.

2. Jesus is not a chicken.
He did not run away. Instead, he stayed & prayed & asked Peter, James and John to pray for
Him.

3. Jesus is obedient.
Though He is God, he did not use His divinity to escape from the suffering. He was obedient to
the Father even till the point of His death. "not my will, but yours be done."

At the Over to You section, the 'one sacrifice' & 'deny yourself of one thing' made me think of the CNY card World Vision sent to me which i just opened today. Should i sponsor a child? i thought of it before this and it's within my limit. But do i have the commitment?

Next is about forgiving people who had hurt me. Hmm... sounds easy for me, but not all the time.
Obeying what Jesus taught & following His examples are sometimes tough for me. After today's reading, will i be able to not 'pou sau' (take revenge) against my adversaries? Will i be brave to go through pain and suffering for the common good? Will i be obedient?

I thank God for inspiring the writer for today's meditation. There's 1/4 chance that the writer is Kokobert!

sick liao

After sometime sitting in front of the PC, suddenly i sneezed non-stop. I think, must be my sinus "faat chok" (canto: sickness attacks) again.

Therefore, i decided to take a nap at 3.10 p.m. After waking up at about 6 p.m., i continued to sneeze.

Ah CHOO!!!

bout Daniel my yee lou... 2nd brother in JS

About 9 a.m. this morning, Daniel a.k.a. da niu sent me a sms. He said hor... he...


HE GOT 49/50 FOR HIS UNDANG-UNDANG TEST!!!

Woohoo... Praise God!!! i'm very proud of him.

more blues...

suddenly i felt something strange.

after so long away from home, coming back from js makes me feel that my family doesn't need me, neither i need them.

it was like that.

all of a sudden my older brother wanted to move to pj because he studies in utar pj. my parents became more concerned about him than what i've learnt or gained in js. furthermore, my mom expected me to do housework like a slave, and behave like an angel. kee siao!!!

she even asked me this... did they teach you how to do house chores? wadda!

hmmm...

da day after js

haiz... feel so empty now... though itz not the first time leaving the js community, but this time i specially feel... empty. a little guilt i guess... dunno y.

currently feel lonely, guilty, a lil pain, missing and lost...

what v learnt in the re-entry session is true. my family take no interest on what i learnt. esp my mother. she became more skeptic (i hope spelling correct). sayang betul v didn learn apologetics.

i miss u guys... n gals...